As a means by which to chronicle what is going on in the American cultural zeitgeist and how we cater to that, Los Angeles, I’m Yours is kicking off a new bi-monthly feature: The Hollywood And Highland Character Count. Every other Friday, we’ll share who the performers are that are clogging the Hollywood and Highland sidewalks and see how they change and shift in relationship to what is happening in the entertainment world. We’ll make predictions, keep count of who stays and goes, and log just what is happening at the best microcosm of what is on the world’s mind: Hollywood and Highland.

Hollywood and Highland today was super, super busy. There seemed to be more people there, likely because of the holiday weekend, and did actually seem to be like there were more performers; however, looking at the last count and photos, there were tons more last time. Weird. Nevertheless, there were some new characters who aren’t necessarily “new” as in “current and fresh in the cultural zeitgeist” but more new as in “never seen you before!” It also felt like a lot of the people today were these happy seals, ready to stop and flail their hands together and bark in happiness at a moments notice, this best exemplified by how many people were so interested in hearing stories from those “You like hip hop?” guys. Anyway, lets dive into the statistics of what’s been going on in H&H over the past two weeks!

The Character Count

Mickey Mouse

Cookie Monster

New Michael Myers

Optimus Prime

Bumblebee

Diego of Go, Diego, Go!

Superman

Darth Vader

The guy from Scream

Mr. Incredible

Iron Man

Wonder Woman

A Character From Halo

Barney

Real People

Don King! This guy was the best because I think only he and I knew he was doing it for the riot anniversary then I went, “Oh. That was Rodney King.” So, not sure why he was dressed as Don but ooookay.

Recurring Characters

Jonny Depp Incarnations: Two Jack Sparrows, One Willy Wonka

Two Michael Jackson, one in white sequins and one in black sequins

Two Dora The Explorers

A White And A Brown Tinkerbell

Genderfuck, Colorblind Cast, Or Inaccurate Characters

African American Zorro

Female Chucky (her ponytail was sticking out)

Spiderman with a Bookbag

(Very Overweight) Leatherface

Female Freddy Kreuger

Etc.

There was a lady dressed half masquerade, half pirate. She kept hugging people.

There was a very sad looking clown.

There was a young Asian woman with caked on makeup who was hanging out with the clown above. She was totally in costume. For what? No idea.

Approximately Eleven “You like hip hop music?” CD and DVD hander-outers. There were more this week–and more people stopping to take them!!

Characters At Madame Tussaud: I Love Lucy Lucille Ball and Shrek at Hollywood and Orange location. There was no figure outside of the Hollywood & Highland Metro. Dang!

There was a guy going crazy playing buckets. When I passed with my bike, he played my bike as well. I gave him a thumbs up.

There was a guy doing “spray paint art” that had a huge crowd for shitty work. He also had a “no photo” sign in front of him. Who the shit does he think he is? Shepard Fairey?

There was some sort of sketch artist who was furiously sketching a child in a stroller. He kept over articulating his head to look at the kid. It was great.

There was some shirtless guy who would dance but spent most of his time putting on his tank top and taking it off. It also should be noted that, even though he was hot, when he wore his tanktop, his areolas were bigger than the straps that were *supposed* to hide them.

Observations

There seemed to be a large collection of children’s characters today.

The two Doras did NOT hang out together and did NOT go near each other. ~*~dRaMa~*~

Again: Superman was the only performer that crossed over from Imposters. The rest out of town for Easter?

I think he’s the only true performer.

As you can see in the photo earlier, Cookie Monster had a cookie prop he would share with tourists. Nice touch!

Iron Man and Bumblebee were super best friends as were Darth Vader and a paunchy Jack Sparrow.

Related: Darth Vaders just can’t keep their masks on!

There was this (homeless?) guy in a yellow hoodie, no pants (and maybe no underwear on), lady’s sandals, and a crazy bleach blond patch of hair who kept walking around the area, as if he were a perfectly normal guy, even stopping to give commentary to people, his hands usually in his pockets. I couldn’t see his front, or if his penis was sticking out, but he was so incredibly fascinating. In such a huge, popular, high traffic area full of supposed crazies, this guy took the cake and no one seemed to care. It was so interesting.

As usual, there were TONS of people waiting for and taking the bus. Maybe pushing the Metro is an OK idea and revamping/bettering the buses is a more invaluable idea?

Awards

Most Creative: Don King. No doubt.

Most In Need Of A Makeover: Both Michael Jacksons. They were real, real scary.

Most Popular: The black jacket Michael Jackson in third place, the shirtless/shirted dancer/not dancer in second place, and the fucking spray paint painter in first place. WTF. You couldn’t even take his picture!

Most Memorable: (Homeless?) Guy With No Pants On

Most Gregarious: Weirdo half masquerade, half pirate lady. She talked to EVERYONE. Well, her and the weirdo pantsless guy.

Least Popular: Don King! Also the Asian Non-Character and the Clown.

Surprised We Did Not See…

Jimi Hendrix

Catwoman–there’s always a Catwoman!

More Jonny Depp characters. The ones this week S U C K E D.

Jennifer Lawrence’s Character from The Hunger Games: number one movie in America! No one could get a bow and arrow and call it a day?

Cast members of Titanic 3D

THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY. IT’S EASTER WEEKEND.

Character Predictions And Questions Over Next Two Weeks

The Three Stooges. I would put money on this!

More Avengers. I’d put money on this!!

Jonny Depp in Dark Shadows (even though that isn’t in two weeks…). I’d also pay up for this, too!