As a means by which to chronicle what is going on in the American cultural zeitgeist and how we cater to that, Los Angeles, I’m Yours is kicking off a new bi-monthly feature: The Hollywood And Highland Character Count. Every other Friday, we’ll share who the performers are that are clogging the Hollywood and Highland sidewalks and see how they change and shift in relationship to what is happening in the entertainment world. We’ll make predictions, keep count of who stays and goes, and log just what is happening at the best microcosm of what is on the world’s mind: Hollywood and Highland.
Despite the nice weather, it was just OK out there today. Maybe everyone is inside celebrating 4/20 or everyone is out at the beach–who knows! It was surprisingly not-as-packed with either tourists or characters. Come on, guys: step it up! Be more topical! Do more stuff to make us notice you!! There were a few weird characters out this time, not that they were unique but they were kind of creepy and inaccurate. Sure, Hollywood and Highland is kind of dirty and seedy; however, we wanted to take a bath after stopping by for this story. Guess we’ll wear plastic gloves and soak ourselves in hand sanitizer before the next visit. Here are this week’s stats!
The Character Count
Batman (old school Batman, specifically)
Sylvester The Cat
Sexy Cop With American Flag Umbrella
Michael Jackson, who just keeps getting creepier and creepier every week.
Jonny Depp Incarnations: One Jack Sparrows, One Mad Hatter, One Willy Wonka
Two Darth Vaders
Genderfuck, Colorblind Cast, Or Inaccurate Characters
Little Person Mr. T
African American Darth Vader
The drum guys were out, of course. Not playing. Because they never play.
There was some guy with pieces of a mirror on his head being filmed and interviewed. There’s a photo of him somewhere but what a weirrrrdoooo.
Approximately Nine “You like hip hop music?” CD and DVD hander-outers. I think it was honestly too hot for them.
Characters At Madame Tussaud: I Love Lucy Lucille Ball and Shrek at Hollywood and Orange location. Snoop Dogg was at the Metro Station where they keep a person. This was the only topical/4/20 reference!
Sure, I’ll throw this guy in: Wednesday when I was hopping on the Metro at H&H, there was a MAN HOLDING A BOA CONSTRICTOR. Just standing there. Letting people take photos with him. I went, “WHAT????”
The little Mr. T gave no fucks today: he just sat within the H&H complex the whole time. And still looked scary because, well, he always looks scary and intimidating.
There was a crazy and brilliant guy with political propaganda he made. They were so great and he stood on a corner thrusting them in people’s faces. Work it, you politico!
No horror characters. What gives? Too hot? You’re all going to hell: get used to it, bad guys!
The Mad Hatter and Willy Wonka may have a “thing”: every visit, they are together. And they do not hang out with the Jack Sparrow(s). Maybe they are too caricature-y?
Again: Cookie Monster had a cookie prop he would share with tourists. Nice!
There were some remarkably ghetto costumes across the board today. Just G H E T T O.
Neither of the Darth Vaders could keep their masks on!!
Similarly, neither could the Storm Trooper.
A very interesting thing to note: the local businesses are ripping off the performers’ style–big time. Specifically, Madame Tussaud’s people handing out flyers now wear top hats and one had big orange hair–just like the Mad Hatter. Life is imitating art which is being imitated by businesses!
Most Creative: Mirror Ball Head Guy, although he was super weird.
Creepiest: Batman. And Sylvester. Both looked like hell and were dirty and were half wearing their costumes and talking to dubious characters.
Most Popular: Mad Hatter and Willy Wonka!
Most Memorable: Mirror Ball head Guy because WTF WAS HE.
Most Coy: Michael Jackson. Not likely for him usually, but he was being super shy today.
Most Reclusive: Sylvester was up a staircase, assumedly doing a drug deal.
Least Popular: Everyone–no one was talking to characters today! It was super weird.
Surprised We Did Not See…
Jimi Hendrix: we still haven’t seen him. What gives?
Superman! He’s always out: where did he go?!
Jennifer Lawrence’s Character from The Hunger Games: this still has not happened. Why? Someone needs to do this before no one cares!
Still no Dark Shadows Jonny Depp. I was *sure* he’d already have made an appearance. Guess he should be out soon…
The Three Stooges, which isn’t that surprising because the movie flopped, I guess.
No Avengers! WTF. It’s getting close to showtime, y’all.
Character Predictions And Questions Over Next Two Weeks
Avengers. For sure.
Jonny Depp in Dark Shadows: people love being Jonny Depp!
Sascha Baron Cohen’s The Dictato? Maybe? Probably won’t debut until after the movie comes out.
A “Man In Black.” They should appear soon…